The ink has dried on your uncontested divorce decree, and it's time to redefine yourself and move forward. You are not the same person who exchanged vows with your ex-spouse, life has thrown you some curve balls and you have survived. Healing will take time, but here are some tips on how to move forward.
Accept yourself and where you are in your post-divorce life. Don't get stuck in the rut of putting yourself down. It's easy to feel like a failure, but a failed marriage doesn't make you one. Now is the time to work on your self-esteem and self-confidence. You possess qualities which make you unique and you deserve a lot more credit than you give yourself.
This may be a good time to get a counselor if you don't already have one. A counselor can help you navigate your emotional health. Inspirational quotes can be very helpf ul, too. Carry them in your wallet or purse, or tape them to your bathroom mirror. Engage in activities which bring up your spirits and stay away from toxic people. You need positive reinforcement, not someone else's baggage.
Find your joy. What are some hobbies that you haven't done in a while? Is there something you couldn't do while married that you really want to do now? Consider trying different things, sometimes exploring many options can be therapeutic in itself.
Don't fear being alone. It can feel scary venturing out on your own, especially if you have been married for several years. Find the courage inside of you to go out by yourself. A movie theater or a play can be a good place to start. Once the lights go down nobody even notices who is in the same room. Standing in line for a ticket or during an intermission can be a great way to engage in casual, non-threatening conversation.
Life after an uncontested divorce can feel overwhelming. You will need to be disciplined and most importantly believe in yourself. Sure, there will be days when you will want to hide under your blanket. Force yourself to get up, out and moving. You don't have to climb Mt. Everest, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
After some time you will start to see your efforts pay off. Any step forward is commendable and baby steps are absolutely acceptable. This is your chance to have the life you really want.
