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During an uncontested divorce,it's a good idea to have a tool bag filled with items and activities that can help you along the way. Some of these items might include a music list, fun things to do with your children and/or secret stash of your favorite comfort food. Another item we would like to give you is a list of quotes to refer to when you need a quick boost. Whether you live in Pittsburgh or Harrisburg or anywhere in Pennsylvania, here is a list of some of our favorite divorce quotes- funny and true!

Uncontested Divorce

Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.

- Gerald Lieberman

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

- Mary Kay Blakeley

I have never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me

- Elayne Boosler

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack Truck, if you survive you start looking very carefully to the right and left.

- Anonymous

Divorce Humor

I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce I get to keep the house.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You grow up the day you have you have your first real laugh at yourself.

- Ethel Barrymore

Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.

- Groucho Marx

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

- Johnny Carson

I married Ms. Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

- Anonymous

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I am about $100,000 short.

- Mickey Rooney

Divorce Inspiration

It's never too late to be what you might have been.

- George Eliot

It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up.

- Vince Lombardi

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

- Albert Einstein

If opportunity doesn't knock build a door.

- Milton Berle

Divorce Advice

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open.

- Thomas Dewar

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.

- 14th Dali Lama

It's not the situation. It's your reaction to the situation.

- Robert Conklin

Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.

- Dan Rather

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Please share with us other quotes or affirmations which have had special meaning to you.

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