Divorce: Breaking the News with Grace

For most people, divorce is a highly stressful event for several reasons. Often, one’s life is turned upside-down. They may have to find a new place to live. If they have children, they will have to figure out child custody and visitation. And on the financial front, they have to decide how to divide their marital assets and debts. It’s a lot to take in.

When people decide to divorce, they’re often in a highly emotional state and very vulnerable. As a result, they may say or do things they wouldn’t normally do. For example, a bitter and exhausted spouse may be extra sensitive about the divorce and “spill” all the sordid details of their divorce to anyone who will listen.

Usually, this practice backfires in some way, even if it’s just a matter of feeling like one said too much and they know word will spread around town through the rumor mill. Another issue, of course, is how it impacts the spouse when it gets back to him or her. If the news spread was particularly personal or embarrassing, an amicable divorce can suddenly turn ugly and that is not a good thing.

How to Break the News

Each split is different. For some couples, it’s an emotional whirlwind that ends with someone packing their bags and slamming the front door. For others, it’s a calm, calculated decision and the spouses talk every move out before going their separate ways. Then, there are other splits that are somewhere in the middle.

The circumstances around your split may determine “how” you break the news to your friends, family, and community, but still, there are some basic rules that are wise to follow regardless of your situation. That being said, here’s our advice on breaking the news of your divorce with grace:

  • If you have children together, sit them down as a couple (if possible) and break the news about the divorce to them before making it public. When you tell them, be sure to reassure them that the divorce is NOT their fault.
  • Do NOT announce your divorce publicly on social media.
  • Do NOT discuss your divorce on social media, period.
  • Do tell those who need to know first. Such people include your boss, your parents, your siblings, and your children’s teachers.
  • When you break the news to people, don’t drag your spouse through the mud. Instead, remain positive and let people know you’ve decided to go your separate ways – spare the dirty details.
  • If you’re holding in a lot of anger and resentment, you could feel inclined to pour your heart out to your associates. To avoid saying something you regret, consider seeing a professional therapist who can listen to you and keep everything confidential.

We hope you found this article helpful. If you’re interested in filing a cheap, no-fault divorce for only $219, we invite you to contact Cairns Law Offices for a free consultation.

Next: PA Divorce: Do I Need a Lawyer?

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