It may see unorthodox, but believe it or not, divorce attorneys have a keen eye for relationship red flags. Why? Because, they’ve heard from hundreds, if not thousands of clients about the reasons why their marriages came to an end. This experience can also make for surprisingly valuable dating advice.
If you’re in the middle of a divorce or if you’re recently divorced and planning on dating, here is a list of questions that you want to start asking your future dates.
1. What is their relationship like with their family?
When you go out on a date, we recommend finding out how close he or she is to their family. If he or she hasn’t spoken to their parents or siblings in years, you’ll want to find out why. If someone has a bad relationship with their folks, it doesn’t necessarily reflect back on them as a person, but it could. It could also mean that their family has a history of child abuse, substance abuse, or mental illness. It’s something to be aware of.
2. Do you believe in marriage?
First ask yourself, “Do I plan on remarrying?” Once you know that answer, it’s important to date people who are on the same page as you. If you’re a divorced dad with three kids and have no intention of remarrying and having more children, it wouldn’t make sense to date a twenty-five-year-old who’s looking for Prince Charming to marry her and start a family. On the other hand, if your date does not believe in marriage and you’re hoping to get married again and settle down, it’s better to date likeminded prospects.
3. Are you engaged or married?
Seems like an odd question but seriously, this needs to be asked. Engaged may not mean married, but it means they’re getting married! Conversely, “separated” does NOT mean divorced. Our advice – date divorced people, not married people.
4. What do you love about your job?
Ask your dates about their work. Do they love their job? Are they passionate about their career? Do they hate it? Do they job hop with extended periods of unemployment in between? Are they married to their job to the point where you’d end up eating dinner and watching Netflix alone every night? Can they barely sit with you through a movie on Saturday night without checking their work emails? These are all something to think about.
5. Do you know who Tom Jones is?
What we’re saying is, find a way to find out how old your date is. You’d be surprised how many divorced clients had no idea how old or young their fiancé was until after the engagement. People tend to lie about their age, especially single people.