Divorce has a reputation for being one of the most difficult experiences an adult will ever go through in their life, and this is true for most people whether or not they are the one who filed the divorce papers.
No matter what types of twists and turns you anticipate along the way, there are some less-known factors about divorce that we recommend you contemplate, this way you will be in the best position to deal with the first year of your divorce.
Divorce can be difficult, even if you filed the papers.
Even if you intend to file for divorce, you may be surprised at how emotionally difficult it can be. Divorce involves more than the loss of a marriage, it can affect everything from where you live, to what car you drive, to where you work, and everything in between.
If you have young children, you will likely have to adjust to a child custody arrangement that is different than what you had during marriage, and if you have pets, they may end up with one spouse over the other. While dealing with family and living adjustments can be stressful initially, over time you will adapt to the changes and focus on creating the next chapter of your life!
After the divorce, you still have to deal with the ex.
Married couples have a way of knowing how to push each other's buttons. If you have children involved, remember that your problems with your ex won't automatically disappear when the divorce is finalized. Since you will still be dealing with your ex to one degree or another, it is best to try and move on and not hold on to grudges. While it is easier said than done, practice makes perfect.
Children of divorce are affected too.
Children of divorce can certainly be affected in more ways than one. Even if they don't say that they are upset about the divorce, their actions may state otherwise. They may be withdrawn at school, or spend more time alone than usual. Stay in constant communication with your kids and ask them about what they are thinking and feeling. Remember to tell them that you love them unconditionally, and be open to listening to what they have to say.
No matter what, don't badmouth your spouse to your kids.
As tempting as it may be, especially if your spouse had an affair, it is very important not to badmouth your ex to your children, as this only hurts your children. They have every right to two loving parents, and saying bad things about your ex will only deny them of that right, and your kids will likely resent you one day for making them feel bad about their other parent.
Are you thinking about getting a divorce? Contact Cairns Law Offices today!