There are often moments in our lives where we wish we had a time machine, so that we could go back in time and make different decisions. In many cases, that’s how people feel when they are facing the prospect of divorce. They look back and think about all the signs they missed that their marriage was not going to work and wish they had only known then what they know now. However, maybe they did. Maybe those cold feet they had leading up to their wedding was their instincts kicking in and warning them something was off. Unfortunately, when it comes to cold feet before a wedding, it is hard to tell whether you are just nervous or you really have something to worry about.
Is It Normal to Have Doubts Before Getting Married?
Having cold feet before a wedding is a cliché for a reason, because in many cases, it’s normal to feel that way. However, not all doubts a person has before their wedding are created equally. Some are normal, and others can be red flags.
What Are Red Flags in an Engagement?
Separating nerves from legitimate doubts leading up to a wedding can be difficult. Sometimes it is hard to tell whether an issue will develop into a deal-breaker once you’re married because the only way it will develop into a deal-breaker is if you get married. Still, there are certain red flags that you should look out for while you are engaged (or even before you are engaged) that could be warning signs that your marriage is doomed to fail before it begins, such as:
- You want kids and your partner doesn’t (or vice versa) – If one of you wants children and the other is unsure, that is a red flag. If one of you wants kids and the other does not want children, it is a giant red flag. That will always be a point of contention between the two of you, and nothing can fix it. Even if you make it to old age together, the spouse who wanted to have kids, will always resent the other one for denying them the opportunity to be a parent. However, it is unlikely that your marriage would last that long with such a massive issue poisoning your relationship from the start.
- You argue a lot – People disagree and argue. It happens in every type of relationship, including marriage. To a certain extent, it is healthy. However, it can also be a sign of issues bubbling underneath the surface of a relationship. It usually depends on how and why you argue. Are the arguments healthy and productive or pointless and vindictive? Are you respectful of each other during your arguments or do you cross the line with comments and take cheap shots at each other? Do you argue often or only occasionally? Do you argue about the same things over and over, or do you argue about specific issues that you work together to resolve? Do you let go of things and forgive after the argument is over or do you hold on to grudges? How and why you argue is very important. Couples who have healthy arguments tend to have healthy relationships, while couples who argue constantly and in an unhealthy way, often find themselves in a divorce lawyer’s office before too long.
- You don’t feel comfortable about how they handle finances – Financial problems are a common cause of divorce. Financial security is a point of pride for many people, and the idea of marrying someone who could ruin your finances is scary. Partners are supposed to lift each other up, not tear one another down. If you can’t trust your spouse to do their part to build and maintain your financial security as a couple, it will be hard for you and your partner to stay married for long.
Schedule a Free Confidential Consultation with an Experienced Family Law Attorney Today!
Marriage is a beautiful thing when done for the right reasons and with the right person. Unfortunately, love can sometimes blind us to the problems lurking underneath the surface of our relationships, which can lead to couples getting married despite red flags. Fortunately, there are options in place to help people get out of marriages that no longer work. Prenuptial agreements can help people protect their financial interests heading into a marriage in case it doesn’t work out, and divorce enables couples to end bad marriages.
Attorney Jim Cairns of Cairns Law Offices has been helping couples with prenups and divorces for over a quarter of a century. His experience, knowledge, and skills can help make the process of negotiating a prenuptial agreement or divorce simple and fast. Attorney Cairns understands what is at stake and how the divorce process works inside and out. He protects his clients’ rights and does everything possible to ensure their needs are met.
To learn more about Attorney Cairns and Cairns Law Offices, or to set up a free confidential consultation with us to discuss your situation, call us at (888) 863-9115 or get in touch with us online. We offer affordable legal services and fees. Se habla español.