Prenuptial agreements have many myths surrounding them, including that it’s wrong to want one; they can ruin relationships, and they are a sign that a couple lacks trust. However, those claims can’t be further from the truth.
While you may feel weird or worried about asking for a prenuptial agreement and may feel like being the first to broach the topic is a heavy task, it’s important to have this discussion before the wedding. The sooner you have the conversation the better as well. Once you ask for a prenup, you will likely have to engage in some serious conversations concerning finances, the future, and more (which can benefit your relationship).
How to Ask Your Partner for a Prenuptial Agreement
Here are some tips on how to ask for a prenup without causing a breakup.
- Consider the timing. As we mentioned, you shouldn’t wait until it’s a few weeks until your wedding or put off the conversation for too long. You should also consider when and where you tell them as it relates to how you all are feeling and the privacy of the setting. Asking after a fight or during a busy time won’t yield the best results.
- Have a conversation. When you start the conversation, make sure you ask rather than make demands. For instance, “we’re talking to a lawyer about getting a prenup and I want it to include these details” differs from “I’ve been considering whether we should get a prenup and want to discuss it with you.”
- Be upfront about your reasoning. Share what led you to this decision as well as what your concerns and desires are. Also consider sharing the benefits of a prenup for your relationship (i.e. better communication, ensuring you both are protected financially, etc.)
- Allow your partner to react. Your partner may remain calm or may react emotionally to this conversation. Remain calm and allow them the space to healthily process and express their emotions. If they are upset, table the conversation as it will be difficult to have an important conversation with an upset person.
- Listen. Regardless of how they take the news, listen to what they are saying. As they share why they’re upset or agreeable to the idea of a prenup, listen to understand rather than to respond.
- Tell them you can draft the prenup together. A prenup is meant to protect you both and should address both your needs and concerns. Remind your partner that asking for a prenuptial agreement isn’t meant to be a powerplay and can be collaborative.
Save Time & Money with a Prenuptial Agreement
While you may not want to think your marriage can end in divorce, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared as a prenup can help you make your divorce process less complicated. Consider this: you have car insurance, right? But you don’t plan to get in an accident. The insurance is just added protection in case of a tragic event. A prenuptial agreement can strengthen your relationship and help you prepare for the future, and the agreement can make you both feel more secure in your relationship.
Contact Cairns Law Offices today to get started by connecting online or calling (888) 863-9115. We offer a variety of affordable legal services, including settlement agreements, filing to retake your prior married name, and uncontested, no-fault divorces.