We've all heard of the downsides of divorce, but what about the upsides? When you come out of the other side of divorce, are you really a weaker person? If you ask those who have been through a divorce, you'll quickly realize that they don't view themselves as weaker people, they see themselves as a whole lot stronger and wiser, and in a much better place to choose a more suitable partner.
If you're getting divorced, whether you realize it or not, divorce is going to change you. It's going to shape you and it's going to strengthen you. While divorce can be very stressful and emotionally difficult, you won't emerge the same person that you were before: you're going to be better.
When people get married, they're often caught up in the dream of happily ever after. While this is great, people can walk into marriage without little reality of what they need and want from a healthy and happy relationship.
Ask any couple, they're usually very different people after 10 years of marriage. When you're married for a while, you begin to realize what it is that you truly want and what you don't want in a relationship.
By the time you've divorced, you're in a much better position to select someone who has the qualities you're looking for. You're aware of what it is that will make you happy, and this self-awareness cannot be underestimated.
In the beginning, a divorce can strip you of your confidence. While you may feel defeated because you couldn't save your marriage, you'll be a survivor who is much stronger than ever before. When you overcome your fears of being alone and single again, you'll acquire new strength. Even if the divorce left you bruised, you'll regain trust in your ability to take care of yourself and your children, if you have any.
Better Relationship Material
Once time has passed, your divorce will be further and further in your rear-view mirror. Your judgement won't be clouded by emotions, and you'll gain a new perspective on relationships. You can use this perspective to change your behaviors and choices and to enter into healthier, happier relationships.
Looking Forward to the Future
Perhaps we place too much faith in the idea of soul mates, but many of us enter a first marriage as if we're children in many ways. Whether we didn't appreciate the effort required to sustain a marriage, or we didn't realize how much marriage changes us, we do a lot of growing up during a divorce.
As the dust settles and the smiles outnumber the tears, you will look forward to the future because it's all downhill from here. When you walk out of the courtroom, your life is in your hands and that can be very empowering.