One of the biggest narratives spun about divorce is making sure that a divorce has the least possible negative affect on any children involved. Parents are encouraged to keep their feelings locked up, to discuss the details of the divorce behind closed doors, and come up with a great co-parenting plan to the benefit of all involved. While no one can deny that making sure children are well taken care of in divorce is crucial, there is also some value in noting what children can learn from divorce.
Divorce May Provide Valuable Lessons
There are many studies and statistics that focus on the negative ramifications of divorce on children. Many parents are encouraged to remain in unhappy marriages for the sake of their children, only to divorce once the child has left the house and the parents are in their later years. More emphasis has been placed on the value of blended families, with stepparents and stepchildren combining to become a whole new family.
For children, everything experienced in a divorce will be a learning process. While there is some value in pretending that everything is alright, children can learn numerous valuable lessons from divorce that they can carry with them into relationships of their own.
Some of the things you should make sure your children take away from divorce include:
- Divorce is not something to be ashamed of and relationships can change
- Divorce can be a shared goal when both parties communicate and compromise with one another
- Setting divorce up as the dissolution of a family takes away from the evolution of a new family
- Knowing that these is only so much that should be sacrificed to save a relationship, and once that has been reached, ending that relationship
- Viewing the relationship as teamwork that involves joint effort from both parties involved
Divorce does not necessarily indicate a problem, but rather a solution to a problem. Knowing this can help parents take care of their children during the divorce process and realize that the lessons they learn during the divorce can stay with them throughout their entire lives.