Up until the last century it was unusual to have a simple Pennsylvania divorce. It was rare to have a cheap uncontested divorce, and instead couples often become bitter enemies. Modern Pennsylvania laws and technology have changed the dynamic of no-fault divorces, accepting uncontested divorces as an easier, faster, and cheaper way for couples and families to obtain a Pennsylvania divorce and restructure their lives. Many couples are looking to have an affordable and healthier dissolution of their marriages and are putting time into figuring out how to restructure their family unit through restructure their family unit through a marital settlement agreements instead of having a full blown and expensive court battle.
This doesn't negate the strong feelings which individuals will experiences during and after the divorce. It's natural to feel hurt, angry and resentful. Yet, the key is not to get stuck in these feelings, but move beyond them and heal.
Once you have decided to get a divorce, you need to figure out the best way to break the news to your spouse. Divorces that start out in anger, with a lack of willingness to compromise, and that are focused on trying to "get even" with a spouse usually end up costing both parties thousands of dollars in legal fees. After you have decided to opt for a friendlier uncontested divorce, we have a few reasons why you need to start to forgive your spouse.
This may not happen for a while, but it's important for you to be able forgive your spouse so you can move on with your life. Forgiving doesn't mean believing that the actions committed by your ex were right; it means that you value yourself enough to not be burdened by your anger. Don't forget to forgive yourself too.
Here are some reasons why you should forgive your spouse:
- Empowerment – you are taking control of your emotions. You are no longer willing to take on the role of victim, but have moved into the role of survivor.
- Getting even – the best way to get even, if that's what you want, is to have a happy and fulfilling life after divorce. Revenge doesn't bring long lasting feelings of relief. After the revenge is over, you will still feel miserable.
- Right to be happy – after deeply forgiving an ex spouse, people tend to release their pain and depression. Feelings of happiness, joy and peace take the place of deep resentments.
Sure, forgiving feels like the last thing in the world you want to do. You have been profoundly hurt and want your spouse to know it. But, if you don't forgive yourself and your spouse it will be like carrying burning coals in your hands – you are the one who is getting burned. You deserve to have a happy post divorce life, so starting sooner rather than later is important.