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6 Ways to Catch a Cheating Spouse

Posted By Attorney Jim Cairns || 16-Jul-2012

A cheating spouse is a sign that your marriage is in trouble, and a simple, uncontested, no-fault divorce may be in order, so you can both go your own ways and start your lives fresh.

Have you been losing sleep, feeling depressed or just have a bad feeling at the pit of your stomach that something isn't right? Here are some signs that can tip you off that your suspicion about a cheating spouse may be spot on.

Emotional changes

Often at the beginning of an affair or other marital problem, a spouse will be over-attentive. The guilt that s/he is feeling from the affair can be compensated by giving you lots of attention. Has your spouse suddenly become independent? Overly needy spouses sometimes find a psychological bond with another person to fill their needy void. Does your spouse no longer seem to care? Things that use to set him/her off don't seem to faze him/her anymore? Your spouse may also have settled into the comfort of an affair and now is finding criticisms for everything you are doing, or not doing. Whenever one spouse starts acting differently, it could be a sign that things aren't right.

Spouse being secretive

Is your spouse getting late night, receiving mysterious or frequent "wrong number" phone calls and not giving you a solid explanation? Does your spouse become defensive when you ask about him/her darting out of the room for a phone call or why the phone history was erased? Have you noticed that your spouse is spending a considerable amount of time on the phone or computer? Is s/he staying up later than normal to do work? Has your spouse recently added a password to get into his/her computer? Keep in mind affairs are not necessarily physical, they can also be emotional. Online affairs are becoming more and more common.

Appearances

Is your spouse undergoing sudden appearance changes? Does s/he spend a considerable amount more time in the bathroom for no apparent reason? When your spouse walks out the door did s/he seem to be overdressed for an occasion? Some other items to consider are; weight loss, changing cologne/perfumes and showering often.

Work attitude changes

Is your spouse taking longer to return phone calls from his/her workplace? Does your spouse make excuses why you shouldn't call him/her at work? Is s/he getting angry by your surprise visits at work? Has your spouse been refusing to let you drive him/her to the airport? Is your spouse working odd hours/excessive hours (with the same pay), taking a lot of business trips when the travel budget has been cut or leaving on a Friday for work related travel?

Speech Patterns

Is your spouse evasive when you ask a question about what they were doing or how his/her day was? Does your spouse change questions around, without answering them, and asks you the same question – putting the focus on you instead of him/her? Is your spouse picking a fight for no reason? This may be a tactic to get away from you and go see his/her lover. Has your spouse been talking about a co-worker often, complementing how incredible his/her colleague is? Have you noticed your wife/husband is not confiding in you like s/he use to?

The Car

The first place you want to look is in the glove compartment. Clues you may discover include: condoms, lipstick, jewelry, scraps of paper (phone numbers, addresses), or receipts. Make sure you look in every crevice of the car – how many times have you had something fall in between the car seats? Don't forget to look underneath the car mats and ashtrays. Also, don't leave out the outside of the car. When going through the trunk do you notice an extra pair of clothes? Look underneath the car, such as the fender. Is there a spare key under the car that you cannot identify? Is there unexplainable mileage on the car? Sit in the passenger's seat and see if it has been moved if it's the seat you normailly sit in.

Whether you are being cheated on or the cheater, you have serious decisions to make. We encourage counseling if appropriate. Once you have confirmed that you are ready to proceed with a divorce, we will be here for you. We can provide you with a fast and easy uncontested divorce. Contact Attorney James Cairns at 888.863.9115 for a free consultation or start immediately by clicking on the DIVORCE WIZARD.