After posting a video asking fans to share how they budget with the energy price cap increases, people noticed that Helen Skelton (TV presenter and actress best known for her work on Blue Peter and Countryfile) had removed her wedding ring. Skelton is getting divorced from her husband of almost nine years, Richie Myler (rugby player).
The couple was married in December 2013 and are the parents of three children under the age of seven. Following the news of their split, news broke that Richie had wasted no time in moving on and is reportedly dating Sophie Thirkill (the daughter of the President of the Leeds Rhinos Club for which Myler is a player). Myler has not officially spoken of his split from Skelton, but before the official announcement, he posted a training photo captioned: “Light at the end of the tunnel *raised hand emoji*.”
While Skelton seemed to be in high spirits/okay in the video, you may be wondering how you move on after a separation or divorce. And when should you move on? We will discuss the potential answers to both questions below.
How Soon Is Too Soon to Move on After Divorce?
According to a study, most divorcees take 17 months and 26 days, on average, to feel ready to move on. However, when you can or should move on is entirely up to you. While some people may be ready immediately or after a few months, others may need years to heal from the loss of their marriage or from the marriage itself.
How to Tell You’re Ready to Move On
Because of the emotional and mental impact of your divorce, you may struggle to move on after a separation or divorce. However, as time passes and you put in the work to heal and take steps forward, you may notice the following signs that you may be ready to move on.
- The idea of dating seems fun. While dating may still seem daunting and make you nervous, you may be ready to move on if you feel a bit excited at the idea of meeting new people and dipping your toe back into the dating pool.
- You feel positive and hopeful about the future. If you are hopeful about the future and looking forward to planning and building your future, you are likely ready to move on.
- You feel less bitter or upset about the past. After divorce, many divorcees go through the five stages of divorce (i.e. denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), and you may be troubled by the end of your relationship. While you won’t forget your relationship and may be impacted by significant dates for years to come, the sting/pain of the divorce will ease. Once it does, you may be ready to move forward.
- You feel comfortable in your own skin. After getting divorced, you may feel like you need to relearn who you are alone. If you feel like you know who you are and like that person, you likely feel more balanced and at peace, which is a sign you may be ready to move on.
It is also important to note that while you may not feel completely ready to move on by dating again, you may be ready to take some small steps forward. Like Skelton maybe you’re ready to take off your ring. Or maybe you’ll consider packing up your ex-partner’s belongings that they didn’t take or reminders of your relationships. Just remember there isn’t a rulebook or precise timeline concerning when and how you move forward.
Recently Divorced or Separated? 8 Keys to Moving On
Getting divorced is a life-altering event. Not only do you have to go through a legal process but you also have to accept that your life is changing and will likely be different than you intended. To navigate life post-divorce and work on moving forward, here are eight helpful tips on where you can start.
- Work on acceptance. As we mentioned, one of the stages of divorce is denial. Even if you had an amicable divorce or filed for the divorce yourself, you may struggle with the finality of the divorce once it is final. Many people focus on what if’s and if I had only’s rather than working on how to accept that the divorce happened.
- Let yourself feel what you need to feel. You should respect and give space to all your feelings, and you should find a way to deal with your feelings in a healthy way.
- Join a support group or connect with a professional. One way to process your emotions is with the help of a therapist or support group. Having someone to talk with, especially other people who understand what you are going through, can be extremely helpful in moving on.
- Commit to being a great co-parent (if you have kids). If you have children, another key part of moving on is developing a new routine and new traditions with your children. While you all may need time to adjust to the new schedule and family dynamics, being there for your children can help in your transition as well as theirs.
- Set boundaries. Whether you need to have communication boundaries with the other party, social media boundaries for yourself, topic boundaries with friends and family, or some other limits for yourself and others, you shouldn’t be afraid to set them. A key part of your post-divorce healing can be acknowledging what is healthy (or not) for you and setting boundaries that can help you avoid triggers.
- Do not isolate. Reach out to friends, family, and other people for support, because isolating can be more harmful than helpful.
- Try new things. Volunteering somewhere, trying new activities, and establishing new routines can help you expand your friend circle and avoid feeling isolated. This tip is especially helpful for those who have lost friends in the divorce.
- Reconnect with yourself. You have likely evolved or changed because of your divorce and maybe even because of your relationship itself. Take time to reflect and get to know yourself as the single version of yourself.
Affordable Divorce Services
At Cairns Law Offices, we are committed to helping couples (including military spouses) get divorced without the fear of going into a massive amount of debt. For as little as $29 down, we can help you file for an uncontested, no-fault divorce. Using our services, you can eliminate the costliness of divorce and achieve a fast divorce.
To learn more about our services or get started today, call (888) 863-9115 or reach out online.