Even when you’ve agreed to have a no-fault divorce, it can still be an emotional rollercoaster. Most spouses will find a few close friends and family members to confide in, and that’s to be expected. Explaining your divorce over a bottle of wine or whisky or a cup of coffee is one thing, but airing your dirty laundry to 500 “friends” on Facebook is a whole other animal.
We must remember that even the most amicable divorces are painful – emotions are put to the test and if you’re not careful about your social media posts, you can turn a friendly divorce into drama-filled split. (Do you really need more drama at this point?) If you’re trying to get an uncontested, no-fault divorce, you want to keep things civil. To do that, avoid making these common social media mistakes:
Mistake #1: Speaking Before Thinking
Often, a couple will decide to divorce and about five minutes later, one of the spouses will make a public post on Facebook or Twitter about the impending divorce. Sometimes, spouses do this before their kids know! Before you decide to go public about the divorce, see a divorce attorney, actually file the papers, tell your kids, and discuss your social media strategy with your spouse. There is no need to post on social media before you’ve even had the chance to process it.
Mistake #2: Bashing Your Spouse
This is one of the biggest don’ts in a divorce. Surely, you and your spouse have mutual friends on social media who will see your posts even if you’ve already de-friended and unfollowed your spouse. There is NO point in bashing your spouse and it will almost always come back to haunt you. It will likely anger your ex and affect your divorce proceedings.
Mistake #3: Switching Your Status to ‘Single’
Too many spouses will decide to divorce and before the papers are even filed, they will switch their married status to “single” on Facebook. Until you’re actually divorced, don’t do this. Not only does it encourage a lot of unwanted questions, it disrespects your spouse, your marriage, and your divorce.
Mistake #4: Airing Your Dirty Laundry
It’s normal for emotions to run high during a divorce and unfortunately, divorce has a way of making rational people do irrational things. Often, this translates to oversharing. Trust us, your son’s kindergarten teacher, your neighbor down the street, and your uncle don’t need to hear the dirty details of “why” you’re getting a divorce. Instead of airing your dirty laundry, take the high road. Your future self will thank you.
Mistake #5: Looking Foolish Online
The majority of divorce attorneys today use social media to extract information about their client’s spouses. You do not want to post anything that would be self-incriminating, such as pics of you drinking or partying, dating someone new, or spending a lot of money. For example, if you say you can’t afford spousal support but then you post pics on Facebook and Instagram of you vacationing in Barbados with your new partner, this will not go over with the court.
Mistake #6: Snooping
Who hasn’t Facebook-stalked someone? For the sake of your sanity though, avoid scrolling through your spouse’s Facebook and Instagram accounts, or using a friend’s account to do it. While it may be tempting to question every new friend he or she adds, it’s only going to upset you. The more time you spend thinking about your ex, the longer it will take to get over him or her and focus on your future.
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