Even when you’ve agreed to have a
no-fault divorce, it can still be an emotional rollercoaster. Most spouses will find a
few close friends and family members to confide in, and that’s to
be expected. Explaining your divorce over a bottle of wine or whisky or
a cup of coffee is one thing, but airing your dirty laundry to 500 “friends”
on Facebook is a whole other animal.
We must remember that even the most amicable divorces are painful –
emotions are put to the test and if you’re not careful about your
social media posts, you can turn a friendly divorce into drama-filled split. (Do you
really need more drama at this point?) If you’re trying to get an
uncontested, no-fault divorce, you want to keep things civil. To do that,
avoid making these common social media mistakes:
Mistake #1: Speaking Before Thinking
Often, a couple will decide to divorce and about five minutes later, one
of the spouses will make a public post on Facebook or Twitter about the
impending divorce. Sometimes, spouses do this before their kids know!
Before you decide to go public about the divorce, see a divorce attorney,
actually file the papers, tell your kids, and discuss your social media
strategy with your spouse. There is no need to post on social media before
you’ve even had the chance to process it.
Mistake #2: Bashing Your Spouse
This is one of the biggest don’ts in a divorce. Surely, you and
your spouse have mutual friends on social media who will see your posts
even if you’ve already de-friended and unfollowed your spouse. There
is NO point in bashing your spouse and it will almost always come back
to haunt you. It will likely anger your ex and affect your divorce proceedings.
Mistake #3: Switching Your Status to ‘Single’
Too many spouses will decide to divorce and before the papers are even
filed, they will switch their married status to “single” on
Facebook. Until you’re actually divorced, don’t do this. Not
only does it encourage a lot of unwanted questions, it disrespects your
spouse, your marriage, and your divorce.
Mistake #4: Airing Your Dirty Laundry
It’s normal for emotions to run high during a divorce and unfortunately,
divorce has a way of making rational people do irrational things. Often,
this translates to
oversharing. Trust us, your son’s kindergarten teacher, your neighbor down the
street, and your uncle don’t need to hear the dirty details of “why”
you’re getting a divorce. Instead of airing your dirty laundry,
take the high road. Your future self will thank you.
Mistake #5: Looking Foolish Online
The majority of divorce attorneys today use social media to extract information
about their client’s spouses. You do not want to post anything that
would be self-incriminating, such as pics of you drinking or partying,
dating someone new, or spending a lot of money. For example, if you say
you can’t afford
spousal support but then you post pics on Facebook and Instagram of you vacationing in
Barbados with your new partner, this will not go over with the court.
Mistake #6: Snooping
hasn’t Facebook-stalked someone? For the sake of your sanity though, avoid scrolling
through your spouse’s Facebook and Instagram accounts, or using
a friend’s account to do it. While it may be tempting to question
every new friend he or she adds, it’s only going to upset you. The
more time you spend thinking about your ex, the longer it will take to
get over him or her and focus on
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