On the day of your wedding there was a sensation of bliss in the air. You saw your future with someone you loved and thought you would be together no matter what. Now that the wedding euphoria has passed, and the day to day challenges in your relationship have grown to monumental proportions - you wonder if you are headed for a contested or an uncontested divorce.
Sure, you have wanted to save the marriage, but you are starting to come to terms with the red flags that seem to be blinding you. Yet, you ask yourself are these really signs of divorce or are they just part of working out our relationship? Here are some signs of a troubled marriage which can help you decide if a possible uncontested divorce is in your future.
You and/or your spouse seems angry all of the time.
Anger seems to dominate your life. You and/or your spouse wake up angry and go to bed angry, no to mention how angry you have felt during the day. It's not just anger for a moment or for one single thing, but an anger which dominates your relationship. There is so much anger at this point that love seems to be a faint memory. Does every disagreement end up in full blown out fight?
Lack of a Healthy Sexual Relationship
The stability of a healthy sexual relationship is a core factor in marriage. Maintaining a healthy sexual relationship has many benefits for a married couple such as: lowering the risk of heart problems and depression due to a feeling of being connected. A good sex life means a person feels better physically and mentally. A decreased sexual desire over a considerable amount of time is a red flag. Also, is your spouse a serial cheater? If a spouse shows no remorse, regrets or does not state s/he is going to stop cheating then the marriage is basically over. Here are some ways to catch a cheating spouse.
Not Spending Time Together
Are you no longer spending time together? If one spouse is spending most of his/her time in front of a computer, at work or with friends, then there is a serious disconnect between the couple. There is no longer a space for you to participate in a married relationship. Lack of time spent together means one or both parties has already checked out of the marriage.
One Spouse is Disengaged
You know your marriage is in trouble yet, only one spouse is trying to fix the marriage. The other spouse is absent in trying to find any solutions or trying to help repair the marriage. One spouse asks for help in trying to surmount the challenges but the other spouse has already disengaged. Has a considerable amount passed and no progress has been made?
Lack of R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Aretha Franklin summed it up in one word – Respect. Are you and/or your spouse no longer civil to each other? When this happens one or both parties feels rejected and hurt. Good communication, the pillar to a solid marriage, has eroded away equating to there is little if any value left in the marriage.