Are you a parent who is having marital problems and now
divorce is on the horizon? If so, not only do you have to deal with the court process,
but you have to deal with your own emotions and your children’s
emotions. It’s hard enough dealing with your own emotions, but having
to help your children through a divorce takes things to a whole other level.
Each family’s situation is different. How your kids react to the
divorce depends on a variety of factors, such as their age, their relationship
with their other parent, what things were like at home, and how they feel
about the split. For example, if your spouse has been very emotionally
abusive toward you and your child, who is a teenager, he or she may be
thrilled about the divorce.
On the other hand, if your child is eight or nine, and they thought life
at home was wonderful and he or she is close to your spouse, they may
be hit a lot harder by the breakup. So, the child’s age and relationship
with the other parent are big factors.
How to Help Your Child Cope
If your child’s emotions are raw because of the breakup, or simply
because of this big change in their life, there are some things you can
do to help your child feel better about the situation. Here is some advice
on how you can help your child during this major transition:
- Reassure your child that the divorce is NOT their fault. Children are in
the habit of blaming themselves for their parents’ divorces.
- Keep things as stable as possible. If you have certain routines that you
can keep, it will be helpful for your child to continue them.
- If possible, help keep your child distracted. This could mean going on
walks with them, playing outside, taking them places (the places that
will be a good distraction vary by age), and otherwise changing the environment
so they can place their focus and attention elsewhere.
- Let your child lean on friends. This could mean having more playdates with
friends (for younger children) or letting a teenager go out and do fun
things with close, supportive friends.
- Let your child lean on close family members who will show them unconditional
love and support.
- Consider a therapist. If you feel like you’re just not equipped to
properly deal with your child’s emotions, a professional family
counselor may be able to help.
- Shower your child with love and affection and spend extra time with them.
We sincerely hope this article helped you. If you’re looking for
a Philadelphia no-fault divorce attorney,
contact Cairns Law Offices to learn about our
cheap divorce services.
Secret to Co-Parenting After Divorce