For a lot of splitting couples, it feels like they’re not only divorcing
themselves, but they’re divorcing their friends too. Is this normal
and to be expected? Do friends have to take sides? Do a couple’s
friends have to choose one spouse over the other?
In the absence of domestic violence, it is not necessary for couples to
lose their friends over the divorce. Of course, there are always two sides
to the story and sometimes, one spouse was definitely in the wrong. But
in many cases, it is not necessary for spouses to lose their treasured
friendships because of the divorce. How is this possible?
Staying Friends Despite the Divorce
It can be awkward for everyone at first. Once news of the divorce leaks
out, you know people are going to be talking. People may hear about the
divorce from your spouse directly, or they may hear from the rumor mill.
If you genuinely want to keep your mutual friends despite the divorce,
there is definitely a right way to go about it. Here is our advice:
Instead of filing for a fault-based divorce, file a
no-fault divorce because it’s less accusatory and fosters open communication instead
- Do not discuss the divorce on social media as this can upset your spouse
and cause conflict with friends.
- Be open with mutual friends and say, “It’s okay that you’re
still friends with (him or her), I don’t expect you to choose sides.
I don’t expect this friendship to be affected by the divorce.”
This is a big deal.
When you give your friends permission to stay friends with your spouse,
and if your spouse does the same for you, that’s the most mature
thing you both can do. But if you get mad at a friend for talking to your
spouse or spending time with him or her, that will only create a wedge
in your relationship. The best way to keep your mutual friendships intact
is to give friends the room to continue contact with your spouse, and
show them that you value them unconditionally.
Two Biggest Fears of Divorce
Interested in a cheap, no-fault divorce in Philadelphia?
Contact Cairns Law Offices today!