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7 Things to Do Before You Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce

Posted By Cairns Law Offices || 26-Aug-2014

Getting Divorce in Pennsylvania: Breaking the News to Your Kids

Even in cases where divorce is obviously the best thing for the family, a divorce will hit kids hard. Even if you are able to pursue a simple and peaceful divorce, breaking the news to your children can be tough, and that is a step you should take only after much thought and preparation.

Here are some tips to help you with this tough task:

  1. Write up a draft: With a shared responsibility to your children, you and your future ex can created guidelines for how to share the news, on who will say what, and how this news will be presented. You have to agree to point no blame, to start no conflicts, to in no way make your children feel that they have to pick a side. All this applies whether you are able to break the news together, or have to do this separately.
  2. Plan a time: Make sure that you have set aside no less than an hour, and don't drop this bomb just before going to bed, heading to work, or going to school.
  3. Don't jump the gun: Don't discuss any hint of divorce until you and your spouse are certain this is the course you will take.
  4. Put yourself in your kids' shoes: Make your message age appropriate, and make it your priority to assure your kids this is something their parents have decided, that your kids are in no way to blame. That is a message you will need to continually reinforce. You will also need to regularly assure your kids that both their parents will always love and care for them.
  5. Keep the same schedule: If at all possible, make sure your kids attend the same school, hang out with their friends, play the same sports, and overall see no other major changes in their lives.
  6. Prepare to tell others: This includes doing so for your kids' benefits; for example, you should inform teachers, friends' parents, etc., people whom you can also ask to monitor how your kid is responding.
  7. Remember to be truthful: You don't have to mask all your pain or grief, but just make sure that your anger does not turn your kids against their other parent, or that your sorrow causes your kids to feel the need to soothe you. You need to be the one comforting your kids.

As for the legal complexities and heavy costs associated with divorce, you can find the help you need at Cairns Law Offices. Our Pennsylvania divorce attorney can help you each step of the way to achieve a cheap, no-fault divorce that includes a fair child custody agreement. Learn more when you schedule your free consultation today!