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The Female Concept of Time & Goal Setting

Posted By Attorney Jim Cairns || 17-Feb-2013

The Movie Without Men is based on a novel named Tales From the Town of Widows by James Canon. A small town in a remote jungle of Columbia suddenly finds themselves without males due to a war. The new mayor, Eva Longoria, decides to create new rules to live by including the female concept of time.

When the town's clock comes to a stand still Longoria feels it's time for the women to redefine the world they live in. This is what sparked the female concept of time. Instead of adhering to a man made clock she decrees that woman are to follow their menstrual cycle to demark time.

She goes a step further when she has women create goals that are announced in conjunction with their female cycle. Each woman is to make a goal of something they want to change or improve and share them with other women at the town square. In keeping with the idea of goal setting, we have some helpful hints to get you moving in that direction.

A proper mindset is helpful when starting to map out your goals for your post-divorce life.. Don't think about it as a to do list. Understand that setting well thought out goals can change your life in an entirely new and positive direction.

Goals are invaluable because instead of letting life happen to you, you are making life happen for you. When setting your goals there are three important components which can be stated in the goal:

  1. Where you are going;
  2. How you are going to get there; and
  3. What are you going to do when you get there?

The first step is to decide what you want from your post-divorce life. Think about the big picture. Where do you want to be in ten years? Some categories to consider are:

  1. Finances;
  2. Education;
  3. Career;
  4. Public/Community Service;
  5. Attitude; and
  6. Physical & Emotional Health.

Make sure these are goals you want to achieve, not goals others (such as parents or friends) want you to achieve. After you have figured out your long term goals start to break them down into smaller pieces. Keep on going until you have action steps you can start taking immediately. For example, you want a college degree. By the time you have broken down the goal you could have an actionable step such as researching a major online that you would like to study.

SMART Goals are a great way to make your goals attainable.

S – Specific

M – Measurable

A – Attainable/Action-oriented

R – Rewarding

T – Trackable/ Time-bound

A variety of goal setting software is available. Searching the internet will give you a variety of choices, and there is free goal setting software widely available. Some of the goal setting software is specific to what you want to achieve. For example, Sparkpeople is a supportive community which helps with health and fitness goals. Another one is Mint which helps you get a handle on your finances and can assist you in achieving your financial goals. One of my favorites is 43 Things. You can share your goals with a community of people and get suggestions and support.

Keep your goals small when you start. Remember, you've just gone through a divorce. The last thing you want to feel is overwhelmed. Don't take the setbacks personally, just keep on moving. As you meet your goals you will feel successful and this helps keep you on track for your long term goals. Most importantly don't ever underestimate yourself.