The ink has dried on
your uncontested divorce decree, and it's time to redefine yourself and move forward. You are
not the same person who exchanged vows with your ex-spouse, life has thrown
you some curve balls and you have survived. Healing will take time, but
here are some tips on how to move forward.
Accept yourself and where you are in your post-divorce life. Don't get stuck in the rut of putting yourself down. It's easy
to feel like a failure, but a failed marriage doesn't make you one.
Now is the time to
work on your self-esteem and self-confidence. You possess qualities which make you unique and you deserve a lot more
credit than you give yourself.
This may be a good time to get a
counselor if you don't already have one. A counselor can help you navigate your
Inspirational quotes can be very helpf
ul, too. Carry them in your wallet or purse, or tape them to your bathroom mirror.
Engage in activities which bring up your spirits and stay away from toxic
people. You need positive reinforcement, not someone else's baggage.
Find your joy. What are some hobbies that you haven't done in a while?
Is there something you couldn't do while married that you really want
to do now? Consider trying different things, sometimes exploring many
options can be therapeutic in itself.
Don't fear being alone. It can feel scary venturing out on your own,
especially if you have been married for several years. Find the courage
inside of you to go out by yourself. A movie theater or a play can be
a good place to start. Once the lights go down nobody even notices who
is in the same room. Standing in line for a ticket or during an intermission
can be a great way to engage in casual, non-threatening conversation.
Life after an uncontested divorce can feel overwhelming.
You will need to be disciplined and most importantly believe in yourself. Sure, there will be days when you will want to hide under your blanket.
Force yourself to get up, out and moving. You don't have to climb
Mt. Everest, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
After some time you will start to see your efforts pay off. Any step forward
is commendable and baby steps are absolutely acceptable. This is your
chance to have the life you really want.