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The Strain of an Incarcerated Spouse

Posted By Attorney Jim Cairns || 22-Jun-2012

When your spouse is incarcerated, it creates a tremendous strain on your relationship. By reading this blog it indicates that you are already considering moving on with your life and seriously contemplating an uncontested divorce. You are not alone. It has been documented that within the first year of incarceration 80% of marriages end up in divorce, and for female inmates the divorce rate is almost 100%.

You experienced a huge feeling of loss when your spouse left your home. The additional financial squeeze of phone calls, giving your spouse packages, and visitation expenses have taken their toll. In addition, if you have children you will most likely see their behavior change. Some kids withdraw and become shy; others act out their anger and become aggressive.

Emotional destruction may not be the only factor wearing down your family. It's not unusual for children to start experiencing health problems like weight loss or gain, headaches and other stress related illnesses. If that wasn't enough, then there is the worrisome statistics that children of prisoners are likely to become incarcerated adults themselves.

The emotional erosion isn't exclusive to kids. You can start feeling a whole range of emotions. At times, you can even feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster. A range of feelings easily includes: loneliness, embarrassment, anxiety, anger and no longer wanting to socially engage.

There may also be feelings of guilt. The guilt of feeling a sense of relief – relief that a troublesome partner has been sent away, or even guilt for wanting to move on with your life without your spouse. Remember your emotional reactions to having someone incarcerated are normal.

In many ways, you have become the invisible prisoner yourself. Too often people just like you are treated like second-class citizens because your spoues is incarcerated. The shame, financial burden and even the sexual frustration can quickly demoralize even the strongest of wills.

If you feel that you have been living in crises and think it's time to start over fresh, call Attorney Jim Cairns at 888.863.9115. You can also get started with your divorce now by clicking on the words affordable divorce. Cairns Law Offices understands that this decision takes a lot of courage, and we are here to help ease some of that fear.