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First Step in Abusive Relationship

Posted By Attorney Jim Cairns || 3-Oct-2012

You may be feeling that you are experiencing a variety of troubling emotions or circumstances in your marriage. You might be wondering why your marriage doesn't seem normal. Do you feel that something just isn't right and find yourself making excuses or covering up your spouse's behavior in order to try keep the peace? You may not know it, but you may have already taken the first step in recognizing that your unhealthy relationship is headed toward an uncontested Pennsylvania divorce.

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone; it doesn't matter your race, gender or status in life. It has been reported that 33 million people in the U.S. have stated they have been a victim of domestic violence. Spousal abuse, known also as domestic abuse, is when a person is in an intimate relationship tries to control or dominate the other person. When violence enters the scene it's called domestic violence.

Some individuals had an awareness that their soon to be spouse had abusive tendencies. Often, people can fool themselves into believing that everything will be fine after the marriage takes place. Unfortunately, this is often not the case.

Victims of abuse can feel shame or embarrassment and are often reluctant to talk about what is going on in their home life. Some people aren't even sure what is happening. This is especially true in the case of emotional abuse as compared to physical abuse.

It's also easy to make excuses or allowances for the abuser. A spouse may try to justify that the other was just having a bad day or is a moody type of person. Some victims go as far as to blame themselves i.e., it's my fault for upsetting him/her. In some instances an abusive spouse will profusely apologize making it more difficult for the victim to clearly understand intentions, and what is really going on in the marriage.

Recognizing that you are being abused is an important first step. This first step can be very scary because you are going to have to face the reality of an unhealthy relationship and marriage. It can also cause a lot of fear because you may be afraid of how your spouse may react if confronted.

Once you have admitted to yourself and accepted that you are in an abusive relationship you will need to reach out to someone and get help. You can start with a friend family member, the police, counselor or a neighbor. Then you have to let people help you. Leaving an abusive spouse is like breaking an addiction and will take some work and healing to move on with your life This can be an embarrassing and a very painful step, but you owe to yourself to live a happy, healthy and safe life.

For more information or help contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)

They are available 24/7 every day of the year.