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5 Tips for Dating After an Uncontested Divorce

Posted By Attorney Jim Cairns || 30-Nov-2012


Your uncontested divorce and marital settlement agreement papers have been signed and you feel like you are ready to dive back into the dating scene. This can be an exciting time in your life. The joy of discovering someone new and them thinking you are great just the way you are can give you a great boost. So, we have put together some tips for jumping back into dating.

Rebound Date

You have been through a lot with your uncontested divorce; our advice is keep it light. The first person you date will probably not be the person you spend the rest of your life with. Most likely she or he will be a "rebound person". This is an opportunity for you to rediscover your fun and romantic side, but don't get too involved too quickly. Remember, your date has feelings, too. You don't want to treat them as if they are disposable. Friends first is a good way to start.

Forget the Ex

It's possible that your ex may have a new trophy wife or trophy husband and it may bring out the competitive side in you. Remember life after divorce is about you, not your ex. Trying to compete with your ex spouse will not put you on the path to a healthy long term recovery. Find someone you enjoy being with and leave the baggage and competition at the door.

Redefine Yourself

This is a great time to explore areas where you might want to look a little better. This could be anything from exercising, eating healthier or updating your wardrobe. Not only can this be a great opportunity to feel better, but it can also be a much needed boost for your self-esteem.

Online Dating

Take your time. With technology. dating can move very quickly. Do what feels comfortable, even if that means confining your communications to email or instant messaging for a while. Don't get stuck in chat rooms or online sites, the goal is to eventually meet someone. A creative place to meet potential dates is How About We, where you meet on the basis of having a creative date.

Mix it up

There are several ways to meet someone, don't limit yourself to just one way. Meet Up is a fantastic way to meet people with the same interests. Whatever your interests are, you are bound to find a group of people who have come together at Meet Up. If not you can always start your own group. Friends can be a good source for singles that are looking to date, so don't be shy about approaching them. Coffee Meets Bagel is another way to meet people. You will be sent a daily potential date. If you feel uncomfortable with an online profile you can use it through your Facebook page where you will only be sent friends of friends.

Dating after an uncontested divorce can feel awkward, but don't let your past keep you from finding a new relationship. Take your time and set up the rules to your comfort level.